Thursday was a surprisingly insightful day.
But this story probably begins on Monday. Monday was the start of an international online book club where we are practicing the seven tasks presented in Diana, Herself: An Allegory of Awakening written by Martha Beck. The first task is calming fears. In order to do this one must first recognize what makes us fearful and how that fear manifests. Once you noticed what makes you fearful, you start by taking deep calming breaths. Then ask for help and finally talk to the part of you that feel fearful. The words Martha Beck recommends are: “May you be well. May you be safe from harm. May you always feel loved.”
So, this week, I have been paying particular notice to when I am starting to feel stressed. That overwhelmed feeling is one of the ways fear manifests for me. I paid close attention to what was going on when these feeling crept into my body and the context around the event. I was trying to discover any pattern or something I could work with. I made several discovers on things that made me feel stressed or overwhelmed and some of the thoughts or events that made those feelings manifest. A couple of my biggest realizations were I am afraid of stagnation in life and of success.
On Thursday, I was feeling a bit stressed and worrisome. I debated on spending my lunch hour outside (as I typically do on nice days) or if I should just spend it in my office reading a book. I decided to take a chance and sit outside, after all the worst that could happen was I’d get a little wet from the rain.
When I unrolled my blanket, the above photo was my view. I was certain I would have to go back inside in a few short minutes, because it looked like it was going to start raining any moment. As I sat outside, I fretted about countless things (those horrible what if scenarios), including getting rained on. I made a comment about looking at something from a different perspective and happened to turn around and sit the other direction to the following view.
All the while I thought I was going to get rained on, the sky was clearing behind me. It reminded me that sometimes all we need is a change in perspective and things will look better. I realized sometimes we hang onto the negative aspects of our surroundings and fail to see the clearing skies in a different direction.
Seeing the bright blue sky behind me made me smile and I instantly relaxed. I laid back, closed my eyes and took a small nap with the sun shining down on me. While I relaxed and napped, my mind wondered off and reminded me that things are not always what they appear and sunny skies will always follow the storms. Sometimes you have to take a chance even if the outcome appears bleak, because if you don’t take that chance you might miss something wonderful.